sometimes i think life's just out to make a fool outta me. as self centered as that sounds because lord knows the world doesn't revolve around me. but it's already the second time that i've had a golden opportunity placed in front of me, only for it to be taken away so unreasonably. and i fought tooth and nail for both of them, i did. but there's only so much one person like me can do.
i've rarely had my faith shaken. very rarely so. but now i feel like there are certain things that are beyond anyone's control, even god. and sometimes, maybe we just have to grow a fuckin pair, take the risk and go for it despite what god tells you. it has to have it's way of workin out. i've listened to their advice time and time again. but they can't seem to understand how wretched i feel every time i have to turn a good opportunity down. people would give an arm for what's offered to me. yet i have to say no.
everything happens for a reason right. if it wasn't meant to be, why was it offered to me in the first place. if it wasn't in your plans for me, why let me come across it then. why do you tempt and tease but never relinquish.
i wish now, more that anything in the world, that he had the ability to do what he said then, while he hugged me so tight that early mornin and said he was stealin me away and never lettin me go.
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