Because right this moment,

I'm just a girl.

The country's in the midst of election fever the past few weeks and the question of one's party of choice never fails to come up in every single conversation. It might be too early to say, but in my constituency, I felt the choice was pretty clear. I have no impression, none whatsoever, of the opposition party. One would have thought that if you're going up against the PM, the least you could do was put up a good fight? Haha. I have to admit that I am not a staunch supporter of any party but neither am I anti-PAP. I simply voted for who I thought could better serve the needs of the constituency/country. In a nutshell, while I understand the arguments brought up by the Opposition, I did not hear any credible solutions to these problems that they found with the current government. It just seems like there was a lot of appeal to populist sentiments. I have to say that I believe and have more faith in PAP's policies, but also strongly believe that they can do so much better . And while there is indeed a need for opposition parties in parliament to act as checks against the PAP, at the end of the day, it's my view that they are still better equipped to run this country. 

Well, whichever party eventually comes into power, let's hope that improving the financial standings of the working folks and closing the widening chasm between rich and poor are some of the top few priorities.

On an entirely different note, it's 17 weeks to law school, to England, to a new chapter (: While I am extremely psyched for school, I am also very ... afraid. I know I shouldn't be and I'm in the process of overcoming this hurdle, but it's slow coming. Haha.. Anyway, I just bought my first 3 law texts for school yesterday! Interesting stuff and can't wait to get down to it once it arrives (: 

I think this change is gonna be good for me. Not just because I'm going to finally be able to do what I have been gunning for all these years, but also because I feel like it's a break that I desperately need. A time to be a lot more independent, to really stand on my own two feet. And for that, I'm excited. (:

One another note, it would also be good for me to meet new people. To let my heart be at ease, to concentrate on my studies, and not get sucked back into this mess that we sometimes call a casual...ship. Especially in the last few weeks where things between us have been swinging from one end to the other with barely time for me to catch hold of what's happening. You've been throwing me curveballs one after the next and while I threw some good ones back, I can't catch up. 

I woke up one Wednesday morning and wished so very hard, that things between us weren't so complicated. It kills the butterflies that I like, so very much, and it makes my insides clench and hurt. You asked me a question and I couldn't give you an answer. You wanted to know why but I said goodnight. I'm afraid to tell you what I really want because I somehow know that you'd only turn and run. I guess I've always known that at the end of the day, I'll never be what you really want. I would rather not take the risk of whatever it is that we have, falling apart. I would rather later, than sooner.

I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Today's swedish phrase is a mushy one. Haha.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Jag är bara en flicka, som står framför en pojke och ber honom att älska henne.