100 days.

to England and to Law School (:

So that's how it officially stands, 100 days. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be the longest 100 days of my life. Haha. Anywho, sorry for the lack of updates the past week. It's been a lil dreary and hectic with the combination of work, tuition, attempting to read up on law notes and happenings within the family. My social life has pretty much become non-existent the past month or so. (not that it had been very colorful to begin with. But you get what I mean.)

What's been new? Well, we made history by winning the 19th League cup, that's one. Then we lost the Champions League cup to an exceptional team, that's two. Haha. Broke my heart because I honestly thought we had a good chance there. We started off alright and despite going 1-0 down, Rooney hit back with a stunning goal so hope flared. Yet when the second half started, they played with such exceptional skills and class that the result at the end of the day was really quite inevitable. Well, we tried. I didn't think we tried hard enough, but such is life eh. Gotta take the shit with the roses. (my saying. heh.) We still capped the season with a 19th, so that's something to cheer about (:

I can't wait to catch a live game next season ;)

My visa's been giving me a headache though and I'm really really hoping that all goes well for it. Was supposed to go down to the embassy on the 6th to submit all my docs but there's been a hold up with the school releasing our CAS to us, which is also incidentally the most important documentation required. Hah. So the 6th is a bust. 

Then there's the trouble of having to submit my passport for the duration of the visa application which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't intending to travel in July....... but Maine's back on the 28th (YAY!) and our summer trip's from 5th to 12th July. So yes.... pretty much fucked on that. If only I could keep to that appointment on the 6th.... then my visa might have been done by the end of June but the school's not cooperating with my plansssssss. Urrgghhhhhhh!! All these coordination is driving me nuts. Hah. 

In other news, very psyched for summer trip (: Can't wait to cliff jump, dive, read on the beach and spend some quality time with the girls before I leave (:

Today's swedish words:

A little lesson on adverbs (:

aldrig - never

alltid - always

antagligen - probably

bara - only

kanske - maybe

inte - not

ofta - often

redan - already

verkligen - really

snart - soon

On the 200th.

Love.

Warning for sappiness ahead.

On my 200th post, I wanted it to be about .... Love.

Not just love in the romantic, makes you wanna twirl and swoon kinda love. But all sorts of love from your mother's, your daddy's, your best friend's, your dog's and everyone else who has been there for you. Because love, is grand (:

My heart's been in a bit of a weird funk recently but love, is still awesome. Even if boys are stupid and we should all throw rocks at them.

I once read the sweetest quote, from Gavin to the boy he loved.

"If you could see yourself just for a day,

you would see how everyone else sees you.

And my god, you are fucking beautiful."

Yes. ♥

Today's swedish phrase:

Du är vacker - which means you are beautiful.

Because right this moment,

I'm just a girl.

The country's in the midst of election fever the past few weeks and the question of one's party of choice never fails to come up in every single conversation. It might be too early to say, but in my constituency, I felt the choice was pretty clear. I have no impression, none whatsoever, of the opposition party. One would have thought that if you're going up against the PM, the least you could do was put up a good fight? Haha. I have to admit that I am not a staunch supporter of any party but neither am I anti-PAP. I simply voted for who I thought could better serve the needs of the constituency/country. In a nutshell, while I understand the arguments brought up by the Opposition, I did not hear any credible solutions to these problems that they found with the current government. It just seems like there was a lot of appeal to populist sentiments. I have to say that I believe and have more faith in PAP's policies, but also strongly believe that they can do so much better . And while there is indeed a need for opposition parties in parliament to act as checks against the PAP, at the end of the day, it's my view that they are still better equipped to run this country. 

Well, whichever party eventually comes into power, let's hope that improving the financial standings of the working folks and closing the widening chasm between rich and poor are some of the top few priorities.

On an entirely different note, it's 17 weeks to law school, to England, to a new chapter (: While I am extremely psyched for school, I am also very ... afraid. I know I shouldn't be and I'm in the process of overcoming this hurdle, but it's slow coming. Haha.. Anyway, I just bought my first 3 law texts for school yesterday! Interesting stuff and can't wait to get down to it once it arrives (: 

I think this change is gonna be good for me. Not just because I'm going to finally be able to do what I have been gunning for all these years, but also because I feel like it's a break that I desperately need. A time to be a lot more independent, to really stand on my own two feet. And for that, I'm excited. (:

One another note, it would also be good for me to meet new people. To let my heart be at ease, to concentrate on my studies, and not get sucked back into this mess that we sometimes call a casual...ship. Especially in the last few weeks where things between us have been swinging from one end to the other with barely time for me to catch hold of what's happening. You've been throwing me curveballs one after the next and while I threw some good ones back, I can't catch up. 

I woke up one Wednesday morning and wished so very hard, that things between us weren't so complicated. It kills the butterflies that I like, so very much, and it makes my insides clench and hurt. You asked me a question and I couldn't give you an answer. You wanted to know why but I said goodnight. I'm afraid to tell you what I really want because I somehow know that you'd only turn and run. I guess I've always known that at the end of the day, I'll never be what you really want. I would rather not take the risk of whatever it is that we have, falling apart. I would rather later, than sooner.

I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Today's swedish phrase is a mushy one. Haha.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Jag är bara en flicka, som står framför en pojke och ber honom att älska henne.

If you could see yourself just for a day,

You would see how everyone else sees you.

And my god, you are fucking beautiful.

Can you believe it is almost December? Time is flying by really fast! So I've just submitted my law school application.. Finally. Heh. I had to spend an insane amount of time cutting it down. My first draft was 4 pages worth of rambling and after 2 weeks (I know, don't judge me. Haha.) I finally managed to whip it into a concise and coherent piece of work. :D So fingers crossed and wish me luck okay? :)

The past few weeks have been quite a whirlwind of events and I was also down with the longest bout of cough/sore throat/headaches which did not help things at all. I was fairly miserable and antisocial to be honest. Haha.. but everything's alright now... sorta. :) Work has been pretty stressful but I love it still.. It's already been 3 1/2 months now :) I'm hoping to do a court sesh this week if my work load permits, this one's quite a tough mediation and I really wanna sit in on it. Hopefully that works out!

Kris and I had a massive skype showdown over the midweek break. Hahaha. It was fun :) It's funny how situations and relationships evolve. More often than not, we always want things to stay the same but feelings fade, and people change.. Sometimes it really is for the better even though in the beginning, it might seem like it fucking hurts. But we learn to deal with it and we move on because with every lesson, we can only get a little bit wiser, a little bit more experienced :) I'm glad how we turn out and I hope we'll always always, be friends..... homs. Hahaha.

Someone had her heart thrown around a bit over the past week too. It's really scary, matters of the heart. But I guess that's why it's so exhilarating in the first place. Haha. It made me realise that being with someone for over a long period of time, does not necessarily mean that the both of you are set for life. All it takes, is one moment, with someone who can show you that he understands and knows you like the back of his hand. That one moment can so easily cast doubts on something that was built on a foundation of many years. One might say then that the foundation must not be that strong to begin with. But how would we ever know how strong something is, until it is truly tested? It also reminded me of something that Ryan once said (God I miss that boy.), that if we start holding hands out of habit, familiarity and not love, that's when we need to question what it is we really have.

But but but, let me make it clear that my stand is, cheating can never ever be justified, but everything else is fair game. Hahaha. And once you're married (or the equivalent)? Then you damn well hold her fucking hand until you drop dead. Lol.

Okay, enough talk about relationships. I was gonna do a piece relating to this,

Well, it is somewhat related to relationships but of a different nature. I guess this will have to wait.

2 swedish phrases before I go,

vägen till framgång - the road to success

tack samma det - appreciate it

Land of The .... Free?

Led by their noses.

I feel like I have been doused with a bit too much of American politics coverage to last me a few months at least. Haha. Can't say the midterm result was very surprising but here's my short take on the recent Republican/Democrats big bang: -

The Americans are a weird bunch. Haha.

It appears that many of them have the delusion of Obama being God, whose touch will heal all crises immediately. (2 years might seem a long time but hasn't their economy been in the reds since.... uh forever?) I've been asked countless number of times whether I liked Obama and my reply had always been, "Compared to the alternative, yes." I am not his biggest fan but I respect his intelligence and genuine desire (I believe.) to want to alleviate the dire state of the economy. 

In his 2 years in office, he might not have lived up to his over-hyped reputation, and he might have made a fair number of wrong moves. His policies and the due processes are slow, painful and harsh. So very harsh. The health care bill was a huge achievement in his book although I'm not so sure with regards to specific details, for example the effectiveness of the individual mandate: Paying an annual $695 penalty or couple of hundreds/month for insurance? Doesn't seem too difficult a choice. It also seems more like a regressive form of taxation on the normal working class, rather than the progressive taxation that it claims to be, with the 2.5% clause. Nevertheless, he has started to lay some sort of foundation for the rebuilding process to begin. Not to mention that he did this against some crazy uncooperative attitude from the Republicans.

To be honest, I doubt there is any man out there who can bring America out of the hole it dug itself into, painlessly. There's no going around the harsh way of fixing their blistering economy. It really is a "No pain no gain" route. So you have to give him credit, he might not have lived up to everyone's expectations, but it does not override the fact that he is, quite a brilliant man and a man better fit as President than Cain or Bush :p 

So will he last beyond 2012? I ..... believe and I hope so. Unless there's a Roosevelt or Clinton in the making? Heh. I'll end this off with something Scotty posted on my wall,

Annnd since it is the Deepavali weekend, 2 Swedish phrases ... en indisk högtid, which means an Indian festival :) and en riktig långhelg means a really long weekend.